I'd just like to thank Rymans for my notebook, and Bic for my wonderful ballpoint pen. Without their help, I wouldn't be here writing this column. I'm sorry, but two award ceremonies for the pop music industry in one week exert their influence and make me emotional.
The big one was not the Radio One ceremony last Tuesday, but the British Record Industry awards dinner a few days later. This is the occasion when record moguls sincerely thank pop stars for making millions of people happy - and making them happy millionaires.
Some of the time I thought I was at a football match, with all the raucous cheering. Prizes were accepted with a modesty that was completely false. Kim Wilde was so surprised she had won that the table had ordered eight bottles of champagne in advance. Angela Rippon handed us a prize with such haughty grandeur she clearly believes she is Princess Michael of Kent. David Steel bounded up to the rostrum like an ageing pop star (there was a group called ABC, so why not one called SDP?) and Paul McCartney managed not to look like an ageing pop star.
Guitarist John Williams made a political speech and Kim Wilde thanked her mother, her father and her brother for making it all possible. I found it very touching, so before I finish - thank you Donald, Tony, Jeremy, Caroline, all the lads in the computer room (continued on page 94...)