The No. 1 Christmas Carol service

Fed up with those Christmas songs that get sung every year? No we don’t mean the ones by Slade and John Lennon, we’re talking about traditional Christmas carols. Marueen Rice came up with some new lyrics for today’s stars to sing, so that Christmas will be hip as well as happy. Just remember to sing the new carols to the old tunes.

Kim Wilde’s Carol

(to be sung to the tune of ‘Silent Night’)

Silent Night, holes in my tights
Can’t sit down
My skirt’s too tight
Round to Virgin – hope George will be there
His dresses are looser round the derrière
I’ll borrow one if he agrees
And spread out in heavenly ease
And spread out in heavenly ease…