Celebrity Detox Camp

Watching Keith Duffy, Kim Wilde, Richard Blackwood and Tamara Beckwith undergo a week of colonic irrigation in Thailand wasn’t a pretty sight. It was more like I’m A Celebrity Behind The Toilet Door because of the sound effects and the groans of the C-listers.
Certainly a case of friend or enema and a huge turn-off for most viewers. In spite of the gut-wrenching subject matter, there were some funny moments as four celebs endured a week of colonic irrigation. Ex-Boyzone star Keith Duffy suffered most. His face was a picture as he regretted his passion for Guinness before a tubular session. Kim Wilde was the only one who’d go back for more. I wouldn’t join her.
C4 risked flushing whatever integrity it has left down the proverbial loo with this latest offering. A pair of harridan cleaners, like the Trinny and Susannah of the hygiene world, set about blitzing the rancid home of a schoolteacher. But, somehow, what should have been a dismal piece of TV turned out to be worth downing the duster to watch.
The squalor the science teacher had allowed his pad to descend into was beyond belief. How the young man ever hoped to pull after allowing cameras into his festering home was also beyond belief. But Aggie and Kim’s good-natured badgering of the sorrowful soul was charming to watch.
If David Dickinson had shouted any louder he would have put a huge crack in that ivory figurine. It turned out to be the star of the show earning the red team a profit of £172 and proving a lot of armchair experts wrong.
“The Duke” couldn’t contain himself. “Even if you make £1 on bargain hunt that’s an achievement,” he bellowed. There is no accounting for taste.
While David Dickinson waited for the sale to begin he did a quick interview with antique fans Ian and Sarah. They had their eye on a stuffed mongoose. Wait for it… for their bedroom. Presumably it will stand next to a full-size replica of Uncle Fester from the Addams Family.
As the Big Brother housemates sipped wine and made banal conversation on Friday night none of them knew they were going to be asked to nominate the first two people for eviction.
It was a neat trick that helped breath life into a tired old format. The other glaringly obvious move was to select six good looking girls. C4 clearly want more male voyeurs. The big Brother housemates reminded me of a bunch of kids on their first night away from home on a school trip.
The girls giggled nervously and flicked their hair. Posh totty Tania shared her gum while the others compared suitcases. “The first night is the stressful bit,” said Steph, the former footballer’s wife.