Kim Wilde: ‘There’s no avoiding getting your heart broken’

Growing up in a musical family, the singer knew the direction her life would take. She didn’t know she’d still be doing it at 64.

Kim Wilde was born in November 1960 in Chiswick, Middlesex. Her father was the British rock ‘n’ roll star Marty Wilde and her mother Joyce had been a member of vocal group The Vernons Girls. Her first taste of the music business came as a back-up singer to her brother Ricky on his 1972 single “I Am an Astronaut”. Her debut single “Kids in America” (written by Marty and Ricky) was released in January 1981 and reached number two in the UK, kickstarting a career which included a US number one (with her Supremes cover, “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”) and, in 1983, a Brit Award for Best British Female. She had 17 Top 40 singles in the UK during the 80s – more than any other female solo act.
Away from music, she has established herself as a gardener and in 2005, won a Gold award for her courtyard garden at the Chelsea Flower Show.
Speaking to the Big Issue for her Letter to My Younger Self, Kim Wilde reflects on a musical youth, heartbreak and parenthood.

My preoccupation at 16 was boys, for sure. That was a preoccupation of all my girlfriends. It was about who you were gonna kiss down at the local disco. It was about whether they’d end up taking you to the cinema. It was about sitting by the telephone for hours to hope that they might call because, of course, we didn’t have mobile phones, we didn’t have the internet, and you just had to share the phone at home. It was about your parents giving you a hard time about picking you up late from a disco miles away. It was about all of that stuff.  

I absolutely loved music. And I was very lucky, because my dad [singer Marty Wilde] had an amazing record collection at home. So I had a very advanced musical experience from a very young age. We were listening to Joni Mitchell and Paul Simon, and we were listening to all the solo Beatles stuff. And we were listening to Tchaikovsky and we were listening to Simon and Garfunkel, and we were obviously listening to everything that was on offer on Top of the Pops every Thursday, and everything on Radio 1. It was something that we could all talk about. There was amazing diversity in the 70s for pop music. And I loved all of it. 

My father was performing a lot at the time – and for a little while, I joined him doing backing vocals. So I got a bit of experience doing harmony work. I kind of had aspirations to be a backing singer, a session singer they used to call them. My mum had been a session singer, and I knew that you could get paid really well if you were able to sing a harmony. I had been brought up to sing harmonies. My parents were always listening to The Beach Boys and Motown and so they were always singing harmonies in the car.  

So I had aspirations to get into the music industry but I wasn’t really quite sure how to do it. Of course, I had connections with my dad but I didn’t see that as a surefire introduction. I was aware that it might help, and it certainly did help – to get that experience on stage with my dad was phenomenal. I decided to stay on at school because I was interested in going to art college. I went there just as the 80s were beginning. And I remember hearing Madness and The Specials and The Clash and going to all their gigs. And I remember thinking, this is really where I need to be. I’ve got to find a way to get into the music industry. And at that same time, my brother started writing songs and asked me to do some session work for him for free. “Kids in America” was written. Shortly after I recorded it, we took it to London and we got a record deal. It was kind of a fairy tale.

I think the young Kim would be a little bit more serious than I am now. I think I do a lot more smiling and I’m a lot more outwardly joyful now than I was. I was quite a serious 16-year-old in many ways. But, you know, I think that sort of goes with being a teenager. There’s so much that’s uncertain. What is your future? What are you going to do? Can you do it? Do you have the confidence to do it? Although I was brought up in a family that gave me a lot of confidence, I still had all the same insecurities as anyone else. I wasn’t an overconfident girl. I mean, I was quite the opposite. And so if I could go back to my young self I would probably say, lighten up a bit, babe. 

Did I get my heart broken? Yes I did. It was awful. I mean, that’s an awful thing. I’ve watched it happen to my kids, and it happened to me, and that’s just a fact of life. There’s no avoiding getting your heart broken. It’s not been the most straightforward romantic experience throughout life for me. It’s been up and down, like a lot of people’s. But I made some really good friends during that time as well, people who are still very much part of my life. And there’s something rather lovely about that.  

The teenage Kim and I could bond over our love of music. I still love music absolutely the same way. I still listen to music most of the time when I have an opportunity. I’m still the woman who will be on a plane going to Denmark to do a gig with a pair of earphones on listening to music. I was a real dreamer and very romantic and a great believer in magical things and I’m still like that. So actually, I have much in common with my teenage self. I’m a lot happier now than I was then, though.  

My younger self would not be able to believe that at 64 she would put out an album and be touring the world the way I am, and living the way that I do. She wouldn’t believe that I just learned how to paddle board in the sea and that I jump in freezing cold water a couple of times a week. And that I had children. I mean, for a long time, I wasn’t sure I’d end up having children. So I think if you told my 16-year old self, you’re going to give birth to two amazing human beings who are going to be the centre of your world, that would have been nice. I’d like to have known that. 

I was very lucky. Both of the record companies that I worked for at the time got me working with women. When I was travelling, that’s when I needed looking after. And they were always there. So I was sort of chaperoned, I would say, very wisely and with a lot of fun. There was one time where I was in a dressing room with Lemmy from Motörhead, oh god. And he was trying to get me drunk on vodka. He poured it into a plastic cup so you couldn’t see how much was in there. My chaperone, or the lady that works at the record company, Moira, she dragged me out. She wouldn’t let me. But he was an absolute sweetheart really. 

I would say to my younger self, keep yourself fit, because that’s going to be one of the great assets for everything you do in your career. I did keep fit from time to time, but it did lapse on quite a few occasions. So I think my older self would say to my younger self, just take better care of yourself. It will really pay dividends. 

I’d tell my younger self you need to surround yourself as much as possible with people who you can trust. I would say, always trust your instincts about people who you’re working with, and ask lots of questions. I was very fortunate in that I’ve always worked with people who I trust implicitly, and that has made a huge difference to the quality of my life, not just personally, but, you know, financially. It’s given me a lot of security. I would say that on the whole I’ve had a really positive experience, and it’s put me in a really good place.

It’s been a roller coaster of a career. When things are going really well, it’s really great fun, and everyone’s vibing and, yeah, you get to share that. And then, of course, as soon as that dips down, you can have some really tough times. I really had to get used to the roller coaster effect of my career. My mental health took a bit of a battering. Sometimes my confidence got absolutely crushed on many occasions. I really had to dig deep to rise above that and get on with life and figure out what was important for me. So all the chat about the negative aspects of my career now I realise was a great gift that I learned valuable lessons from.