If you thought Kim Wilde had nowt but a sexy pout... well get a load of this: the most sensational blonde since Bardot obviously knows a thing or two about ye olde music scene and has even picked up the odd bad habit from we gents of the Press - which can't be bad.
Since our readers have not been slow to comment upon the merits or otherwise of our Guest Singles Reviewers, we here on the Soundmaker panel thought we'd take matters a step further and award each star critic a mark out of 10. Kim's fair and workwoman-like approach earns her a massive 8 1/2. Okay then, here goes...
Bob Marley & the Wailers - 'Buffalo soldier' (Island)
This is fairly predictable and not the stuff singles are made of. I hope we hear lots of Marley music over the airwaves this summer. Okay, I know Eddy Grant is popular, but there's no-one who can touch Bob.
Stephen Bishop - 'It might be you' (WEA)
In my opinion there are not many songwriters as consistently good as Stephen Bishop. He has one of the finest voices I've ever had the pleasure of listening to. 'Careless' and 'Bish' are two albums worth having, working alongside such talents as Art Garfunkel (to whom Stephen Bishop could be compared although totally different) and Chaka Khan (the best in the west). Hopefully they'll play this on the radio.
Pete Shelley - 'No-one like you' (Genetic)
Lovely picture of him on the cover of this gorgeous pink sleeve. Pete is looking in pensive mood, maybe he's wondering why the brilliant 'Telephone Operator' didn't smash the Top 10. (Fine but how about a review - ed?)
Gerry Cott - 'Pioneers' (Epic)
This record really grows on you. It has a catchy little melody. I'm sure it will be played on the radio quite a bit. It's just one of those records you can envisage really well.
Martha and the Muffins - 'Danceparc' (Current)
I really liked 'Echo Beach'. I liked her cool, detached approach to singing. This record doesn't have the same immediate appeal, but maybe after a few more listens - who knows? She is undoubtedly a very talented lady.
XTC - 'Great fire' (Virgin)
XTC have come out with some good melodies in the past. This sounded like something The Beatles might have done around the 'Sergeant Pepper' era. 'Great fire', by the way, seems to relate to some hot passion(!)
Patti Smith - 'Because the night' (Arista)
I'm surprised no-one else had coverde this song by now. It still sounds great.
Al Jarreau - 'Mornin'' (WEA)
Al Jarreau is a rare talent. Whether you like him or not, he has got the most incredible voice. He does things with his voice that Martin Rushent can't even do with his Sinclavier - yes really!! This record unfortunately displays little of his talent, yet is nonetheless pleasant and well-produced.
The Addicts - 'Bad Boy' (Razor)
'I love you love me love'. I have nothing against this record especially, but Gary Glitter did it better.
Whodini - 'The haunted house of rock' (Jive)
First they had the 'Monster Mash' and it was a graveyard smash. Can you dig it? Now they're rapping till dawn. Scoobie Doo where are you?
John Miles - 'The right to sing' (EMI)
I'm well and truly convinced that 'Music' is John Miles' first and last love. After listening to this. The grandiose production is nonetheless touching. It conjures up very passionate situations, or maybe I shouldn't have had that last glass of wine.
Kiss - 'Creatures of the night' (Phonogram)
It was tempting not to put this record on the turntable, but my masochistic sense of fair play prevailed. Yes, you're right, I got heartburn - serves me right!
London Cowboys - 'Street full of soul' (Flicknife)
I like this. Glen writes good songs when he feels like it. He's also incredibly sexy. Shouts of "what's that got to do with it?" - EVERYTHING!
Philip Jap - 'Brain dance' (A&M)
Philip Jap can sing. The song didn't appeal to me - so what? Cleverly handled by Trevor Horn who had definitely got the best out of this. Taken from his album 'Philip Jap', I should imagine it would be worth a listen, which is more than I can say for...
Modern Romance - 'Don't stop that crazy rhythm' (WEA)
It's driving me insane. It reminds me a bit of that record 'Girls girls girls' by Sailor complete with that 'whoo whoo choo choo' train effect and muted trumpets, plus a few Larry Graham twangs on the old bass guitar to bring us back into the eighties. There's even a short break for any budding Fred Astaires to give it a bit of a the dance floor.
Linda Lewis - '(Close the door) Take your heart' (CBS)
As it starts it reminds me of that song called (put the real name in if you know it) 'I believe when I fall in love it'll be forever'. It continues in pretty much the same vein. Linda Lewis has a voice with a range anyone would admire. She eats this song alive.
Landscape III - 'You know how to hurt me' (RCA)
Isn't that a good title? This song sounds like ahit. I suppose one definition of a hit could be a chorus you just cannot get out of your mind. It's very infectious. I liked it right away. A production full of good ideas, especially the girls' vocals, very sexy.
Hot Chocolate - 'What kind of boy you're lookin' for girl' (RAK)
Pure pop with no bullshit, and it's another hit for Hot Chocolate. Well done.
The Moodists - 'The Disciples Know' (Red flame)
This song is obviously not destined for the Steve Wright show. The drums pound away, while the guitar goes for it with all his fingernails. I listened to it about four times and liked it better each time, but just in case you're interested I wouldn't go out and buy it.
The Undertones - 'Chain of love' (Ardeck)
Feargal Sharkey has a voice you either love or hate, I guess, like Elvis Costello, Robert Wyatt or Eddie Tenpole. I'm a fan of all these but I'm afraid I don't like Feargal's voice. However, this record stood out in it's simplicity and straightforwardness. The Undertones have done some good stuff and this record gives me no reason to believe that there isn't more of it to come.
Snowy White - 'It's no secret' (Towerbell)
I got a press release with this: "Snowy White is undoubtedly one of this country's finest guitarists". I wish him all the luck in the world with his solo career. Let's face it, Captain Sensible couldn't sing too good either. Unlike the Captain, Snowy is a veritable hunk.
Blancmange - 'Blind Vision' (London)
This ran away with the prize for the most attractively-packaged single presented to me. Seems that Soundmaker were too tight to send the 12" as I'd requested (We never got one ourselves - so there - Ed.) Pity as it would have saved me having to go out and buy it. Anyway, it's better than 'Waves', with an incredibly thoughtful production. Yet again the girl backing vocalists come along to save the day.
Record of the week
Elton John - 'I guess that's why they call it the blues' (Phonogram)
After Gary Glitter, Elton John was my biggest hero. Still is. I'm a real fan and this is a real good record. Together with the old line-up again. Davey Johnstone, Dee Murray, Nigel Olsen and most importantly, Bernie Taupin, something of the Elton John is recaptured again. Easily the best record out of the bunch.